In the midst of suffering and turmoil I have witnessed God's intimate awareness of me. These blessings amid our personal "Gethsemane" are a calming reminder that, although we may not know how much longer we have to faithfully endure, He is going to see us through all of this and one day maybe we will be able to look back and be grateful for all the learning we gained. I made a blessing jar and reading the blessings that have been poured upon me in just the last three weeks testify in and of themselves of the reality that God lives and is intricately involved and working in our lives.

1. a package of all my favorite candies sent by my best friend, Megan, along with a sweet note of encouragement

2. a beautiful bouquet of flowers sent by my school

3. strengthening texts from my closest friends

4. countless phone calls from my aunts and grandma filled with love and support

5. homemade jam and rolls dropped off on our doorstep by our sweet bishop's wife

6. a husband who has Christ-like patience with me and lets me take my time to get through my darkest days

7. a week off of work to recover with my mom and husband

8. my amazing mom coming up to take care of us for two weeks. . .we didn't have to lift a finger. . . she did the dishes, laundry, cleaning, and just gave us the company we needed.

9. powerful priesthood blessing given to us by our home teachers

10. finding the last caramel taffy at the bottom of the bag

11. a pot of daffodils brought over by my friend, Kelsey, and being able to watch them bloom over the last 2 weeks.

12. getting to eat at Cheesecake Factory and sushi with my family (my two favorite meals)

13. having an aunt that went through the same experience to talk me through everything and even answer my 3am phone call

14. My first week back at church having the hymns Be Still My Soul and Lead Kindly Light play and the words comfort me

15. getting facials with my mom

16. getting to see the premiere of Hunger Games with my family

17. My husbands perspective changing testimony that he bore in church

18. My best friend Jessica coming to visit

19. being forced by the spirit to bare my testimony in relief society and feel it start to heal me

20. having wonderful women in my ward that I can relate to

21. being fed and showered with gifts during teacher appreciation week

22. getting an anonymous note on my door telling me that my testimony was exactly what they needed to hear

23. being in the midst of conference weekend and having President Packer start off the session with a talk that specifically spoke of our immediate trial and President Eyring closing the session with a talk on how to endure our trials and then getting a text from my brother asking if we heard President Packer's talk because he knew it was just for us and feeling the exact same way! Miracle!

24. gaining a better understanding of the atonement

25. getting to do sealings with my husband a couple days ago and getting intense comfort and peace of mind

26. Neil A. Maxwell's book, All These Things Shall Be For Thy Experience. This book is so deep and insightful and is the first thing I have heard/read that has made me feel ok about my trials.

27. shopping at the Park City outlets with my family

28. getting to accompany my husband to his mission reunion...I love getting to hear all about his experiences and to see how much he was loved by everyone on his mission.

29. Jesse bringing home some of my favorite things: humus, blackberries, and poppy seed muffins.

Quite a lengthy list for such a short amount of time, but I know we have seen even more tender mercies in the last few weeks that I can't remember or forget to write down. Now I'm off to pick up a Cafe Rio salad to-go while Jess is at the priesthood session with Matt. Then we are all off to a late-night-date-night movie to see the Hunger Games for the second time. I'm so excited!